Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another;
Romans 12:10
Have you ever admired someone from afar but then became acquainted with them, and their flaws began to surface? It is easy to show respect and honor to someone you do not know well. It can be challenging to show respect to those we know best, such as our spouse.
Often, we can filter our words and hold our tongue when talking to someone with a different opinion, but when it comes to our spouse, we feel we have free reign to say whatever we think. Respect is tested in a marriage because we do not feel the need to protect our reputation as we do in other relationships.
How do we keep respect as the foundation of a disagreement? I am not a straight “A” student at it, but I know God wants us to show respect toward each other.
HOW DO YOU VIEW YOUR SPOUSE?
How you view your spouse is essential. It is easier said than done, but the next time you disagree, take a step back and remember what you are saying is to a child of God. God loves her just as much as He loves you, so we want to respectfully treat our spouse, God’s child.
DISAGREE RESPECTFULLY
When our spouse says something that hurts, our instinct is to retaliate. Hurtful words that are sprinkled with sarcasm will cause more hurt. The conversation is no longer about trying to come to an agreement but about the attitude and hurtful words, we inflict on each other. Respect quickly erodes.
How we say, something is just as important as what we say.
BE HUMBLE
The Bible speaks a lot about pride and the result of pride. Pride destroys relationships. It’s hard for a human being to tell another, “You are right. I never thought of the concerns you mentioned.”
In a marriage, we have to be honest with ourselves. Is our disagreement due to pride? Has my spouse made me realize I was wrong on the issue, but I do not want to acknowledge it because my pride will be wounded?
If we are the one that has the valid points, are we conveying them with humility? We often will make it hard for our spouse to agree with us because of the arrogance that we deliver our message. Be humble when you are conveying your thoughts.
If you and your spouse have gotten into a bad habit of being disrespectful toward each other, perhaps it’s time to have a conversation that, from this point on, we will show each other respect. Have a plan of what to do when you are still seeing a discussion going down the path of disrespect. It might be best to call a time out and discuss later.
It will become easier if you both are on the same page about showing each other respect.
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Ephesians 5:33
