In March, Crista and I celebrated our 20th anniversary. When we first got married, I thought it was going to be one long honeymoon. I quickly realized that was not the case. Crista and I are two different people who approached life differently. It was going to be work, and it still is. But it’s worth it.
I want to share twenty lessons that I have learned over the past twenty years. Most of these lessons came the hard way, and many of them we are still working at.
My wife and I are going to see and approach life differently, and that is okay.
The book, “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman is a helpful resource in understanding how your spouse expresses love.
Respecting each other and each other’s views are critical to a healthy marriage.
Feeling safe and protected is essential to most wives.
Just as we should not eat heavy meals before bed, we should also keep away from potentially heavy conversations.
Wives do not always want their husbands to fix the problem; sometimes, they need someone to listen.
Marriage is the only relationship that God said, “…and the two shall become one.” Therefore, it is the most important natural relationship in your life.
Children will bring the weak areas in your marriage to the forefront.
How you treat your spouse will affect how your child will eventually treat their spouse.
Words and attitudes can hurt our spouse, so we should be careful about what we say and how we say it.
Pray daily together. It is hard to be upset with each other while praying together.
Your spouse should have full access to your phone, social media, and email accounts.
Whether it is having a quick cup of coffee together, or going on a walk, spend time together each day.
Utilize marriage materials such as books, podcasts, and older couples with healthy marriages to help strengthen your marriage.
Be careful about hanging around couples with unhealthy marriages. Don’t get sucked into their bad habits, such as talking negatively about each other.
Being willing to change is part of growing together.
How a husband leads his family will play a big part in how the family responds to his leadership.
A healthy marriage is one of the best ways to make your kids feel secure.
Show appreciation for the things that your spouse does for you.
Pride is often what keeps the conflict in our marriage alive.
