“If I had been born in Asia, would I had been a Hindu?” One of our children asked earnestly. The question led to an honest conversation about God and His Word.
Since the kids were little, we’ve tried to foster an environment where we allow questions. Our guidelines are that the question must be asked in a respectful manner and from a sincere heart.
As parents, the easy route is to shut down any question that makes us feel uncomfortable. We can create an environment that shames a kid or puts fear on them for asking questions, but that does not eliminate the questions in their hearts. Not allowing your child to ask questions might provide you with the false security that everything is ok, but the reality is your child might be struggling internally. Questions can give a view of the internal struggles a child is having.
Our children will find someone to answer their questions, whether that someone is google or a peer. What better person to guide and pray with them regarding their questions, then us their parents?
As your child becomes a teenager, they might start questioning different beliefs that you have taught them. Be patient with them and keep a line of communication open. It’s best to have the questions out in the open than to allow a teenager to struggle alone. Teenagers need to know they can go to their parents, and respectfully ask honest questions without being shut down or shammed.
We might not be able to answer all of the questions that our children have about God and His Word. Like each of us, our children will have to work out their Salvation, and most often, questions are part of that journey. However, in time, God can give them peace regarding their unanswered questions about Him.
Be honest when answering.
Pray with them about the questions they have. Sometimes they might bring up a question that will challenge you to dig into God’s Word.
Not every question will have a clear and concise answer. We are finite minds and will never understand all the infinite ways of God. It’s better to respond with, “I don’t have a clear answer, but I believe by faith that this is what God desires” than to make up some complex response to support why you have a particular belief. Honesty is key.
If a question is asked respectfully and sincerely, don’t take it personally.
There are certain beliefs we have taught our kids since they were toddlers. As they have become older, sometimes they will question why they can’t participate in a particular activity or why we see certain actions as sinful. The easy route is to respond with, “Because I said so.” That response might work short term, but as parents, we should have a long term vision. The long term vision is, we want to provide our children with a solid Word foundation that will give them strength when they are no longer under our roof.
Don’t assume that your teenager is going to believe what you have taught them easily.
Probe your teenager. Ask them do they have any questions. From time to time, I will tell my oldest, he can ask me anything, and that no question will shock me.
A teenager can dress the part and be compliant and still have a war of questions going on inside their heart. Help them win the internal battles by praying with them, being there for them, and studying the Word of God with them.
