Do we have to have Family Devotions?

Often, as new parents we look at family devotions as a checklist:

1. Read a chapter of the Bible

2. Discuss the chapter

3. Pray

For Crista and I, this way of doing family devotions did not last long.  When you have a grumpy 4-year-old, that is ready to go to bed, reading a chapter from Revelations does not do much for them.  It does not set the right atmosphere when you are having to threaten your child that we will do this devotion if it takes us all night.  There were times we were so concerned of getting the family devotion “checklist” completed, that we forgot the purpose of the devotion.

Over the years, we have adjusted how we do family devotions and continue to do so.  The parenting journey finds us always learning something new.  These are just a few things we have learned along the way:

1.  Roll with it.

As mentioned, we used to read a chapter from the Bible every night with the kids.  Now, we sometimes only read a scripture and discuss it.  If the conversation is good and your kids are participating in the conversation, keep it going.  It is great for them to be involved as much as possible.  Reading a scripture and letting it soak in is better than reading a chapter just to get it off the “checklist”.

2.  Family devotions do not have to be every night.

With our older children, we encourage them to pray before they go to bed and read their Bible every day.  While we encourage them to have a set time to do their Bible reading, we also give them the flexibility to decide what time of day works best for them.  We want our children to develop this daily routine on their own, but we do ask how are they doing with their daily devotion time.  For our youngest son, who is 8, we still pray and read the Bible with him every night before bed.  He is a greatreader so we also found him a simple devotion book for kids that he does on his own in the morning.  It is a great way to get him started in developing his daily routine.  In this season of life, we have family devotions one night a week.  When we tried to do it every night, it felt like we were forcing ourselves to get it done just to say we were “good” parents.  Every family is different.  Find what works best for your family and be open to changes as your children grow older.

3.  Don’t wear your kids out.

Most of our family devotions last between 15-25 minutes.  If it is going well, it might last a lot longer.  Sometimes as parents, devotions can become our pulpit.  Devotions should be relaxing and enjoyable to where your kids feel welcome to be involved.  Sometimes the age difference of your kids may make devotions not always resonate with each child at the same time and that is okay.  Remember to switch things up in your devotions from time to time to keep each age group engaged.

4.  Remember the purpose of a devotion.

The purpose of a devotion is to make Jesus real to your children.  If kids dread every time you have devotions, then it will be difficult for the purpose to be accomplished.  Make it fun and interactive.  If you have small children, games and singing songs are a fun idea.  If you have teenagers, engage in conversations about why you hold certain beliefs.  Give your children time to ask questions.  You will be amazed at their thought process.

5. Don’t beat yourself up.

Sometimes, we stress ourselves out because we have a mental checklist that we feel we must accomplish or our kids are not going to turn out right.  While there are definitely things as Christian parents we should do, including family devotions, do not be so hard on yourself if you are not doing it daily or your kids do not seem to be getting anything out of it.  Just give your best and be consistent with however you decide to do devotions.

The most important thing you can do as a parent is to live a godly life in front of your children.