I like chocolate. Crista likes vanilla. People energize me. Quietness energizes her. I am a big idea person. She considers each step.
You get the picture. Crista and I are opposites.
It has only been the last few years that we have noticed how opposite our approach to life can be. It became noticeable when we started having kids. At first, we thought we were abnormal, but then realized that the majority of couples share the same story. He squeezes the toothpaste from the top; she squeezes it from the bottom.
Crista and I had only been married for a few months when she came to my work to have lunch with me. We were talking about our day when I casually mentioned that I had borrowed several thousand dollars on a credit card to buy some stock. I really did not think it was a big deal. She did. I now realize what I had done was foolish. I had a tolerance for risk that could get us in trouble whereas Crista is risk adverse. If she had been very encouraging that day of my actions, I might have borrowed on our house. But, being she expressed her concern in a very convincing way, I sold the stock and have never done that again.
Because I am more of a risk taker and she is more risk adverse, we balance each other out.
As the years pass, Crista and I find ourselves accepting each other as God wired us. It does not always come easy and we still fail at accepting one another. It takes grace and respect for each other. What we consider opposites in our personalities, may be God giving us what we each need.
Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another. Romans 12:10
It might have been challenging for Moses to view his wife’s temperament as an asset but, it was what he needed to counteract his temperament.
Then Zipporah took a sharp stone, and cut off the foreskin of her son, and cast it at his feet, and said, Surely a bloody husband art thou to me. Exodus 4:25
Do not be discouraged, if you feel like you and your spouse will never get it together because you are so opposite. If you will allow, God will use your opposites to build character in you and in your marriage. Godly character will help you build a strong marriage because you will no longer view your spouse as the problem but the person God has placed in your life to become one with. Marriage takes work, but it is worth it!
